Vitreous Humour

I try to catch you out the corner of my eye
But out of my field of vision you fly
You have been with me since the day I was born
Whether I was joyous, angry or forlorn
You have stuck with me more than my own family
Then why must we meet so surreptitiously?
I wouldn't call you the apple of my eye
But a significant position, you do occupy
I catch glimpses of you every now and then
Wandering by yourself out in the open
Calmly and carefully, I attempt to give chase
Yet somehow you always avoid my gaze
Then as I look away, I glimpse you again
Knowing well all efforts will be in vain
I think and strategically improvise
'pon a spot on the wall, I fixate my eyes
I disregard the pleas of my lacrimal gland
For I know, in time, before me you'll stand
As you investigate the source of the apparent fuss
I realise my eyes I need to refocus
Faster than light, I refocus my eyes
But I still cannot catch you by surprise.
From dawn to dusk and from dusk to dawn
This blatant injustice goes on and on
I'm at my wits' end, I bawl and I weep
At a day gone in failure, I must go to sleep
All day long, you have played games with me
Oh but what a glorious thought, an epiphany!
Your bitterness has begot my vengeance so sweet
I shall make no attempt at being discreet
I shall go to sleep and ignore your frantic screams
O floater in my eye! You shan't enter my dreams!!

Vogonic vituperations

O ostentatious omnivore!
So subtle, so sick.
Which wicked wanking whore
Does daily devour dick?

Frequently fornicating fairies
Had hitherto heard how hot
Candy could cause caries
To the teething tiny tot

Euphemisms elicit efforts
From feeble facetious foes
As an amicable angel asserts
Hermits have horrible hoes

White wanderers who wantonly wear
Violet vests villify vogons
Barbaric barbers beneath bare
Masks murder most malodorous morons

But base bitterness befits bigots
Poetry portrays pulchritude
To the tiniest teething tots
In infantile ineptitude

Ridiculous, Random Ramble Resembling Rhyme

Always avoid alliteration
Stupid sycophants say
As animals are anxious about
Giraffes growing gay

Vivacious voluptuous virgins
Make me masturbate
Unlike ugly unbecoming urchins
Show seemingly sorry state

Loafing little llamas
Have horrendously huge hair
Pretty people precariously pity
Using used underwear

Xenophobic xylophonists
Make magnificent music
I infrequently infatuate in
Damsels devouring dick!