On a drab, dreary morning, I was born
Announced to the world by a horrendous horn.
Upon my birth, it thus transpired
That as a shogun, I was to be attired.
Thus dressed, I had neither reason nor rhyme
To be in Norway, and soon it was time
For me to be sent off to Japan on a ship.
And so I embarked on a torturous trip.
So terrible it was, I thrice tried to elope
Most notably near the Cape of Good Hope.
I was wondering why they took the longer route
When Napoleon told me that the Suez was still moot.
Resigned to my fate, I decided to kip
When the Hispaniola decided to take a dip.
Near a vertex of the Bermuda, the Hispaniola sank
And I found myself afloat, dank on a plank.
To make matters worse, my prospects did blacken
As I was deviously devoured by the Kraken.
"What place is this?" I wondered aloud in fear
When I heard a voice that said "Alimentary, my dear".
I asked Holmes if there was a way out.
He said the only one was through the snout.
Near the snout I saw a rainbow stoking a fire.
And I joined in with a fervent desire.
The plan worked, the Kraken gave a squeeze.
I came out with flying colours in the Kraken's sneeze.
After a week I landed atop Livingstone
And claimed Lake Victoria for my own.
But a shogun was unwelcome in these parts
And I soon was dodging deadly darts.
They were one too many, I had to abscond
In desperation, I pulled out my wand
"Stupefy", I yelled, "Petrificus Totalus"
And out of thin air I conjured up Pegasus.
(To be continued......)